i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
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I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So vagazzling was a success
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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