oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
