But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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