please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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