kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
