I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
