Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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