But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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