Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
