im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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