I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
