i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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