I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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