Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
