Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
