Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
