it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
