You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Small penises have feelings too.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
