I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize