have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
