your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize