whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize