She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
how drunk are you?
Several
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
