Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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