I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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