North Korea, Best Korea!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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