I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
