well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
