Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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