His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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