Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
