people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
