First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
