she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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