how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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