he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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