Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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