Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
