Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
