Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
