either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
