You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
