she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
