I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was like giving head to a cactus.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
you never un-have a 4some
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize