literally had 100 drinks last night.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
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I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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