South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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