I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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