So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
