Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
