My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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