Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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