I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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