Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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